Day 3

Well today I have kind of been on an emotional roller coaster.  It was my last day of work before going back to school.  Most people would be extremely excited about this, but not me.  I am going to miss my "kids" terribly.  Over the past year I have grown so attached to those little guys, even though they make me want to pull my hair out sometimes.  I know I will be back to visit, but I don't know if I will come back to work full time like I was.  I have been off and on at this job for 4 years and I am so going to miss it.  I am not only going to miss the kids but also the women I work with.  For the most part we all get along so well and I am truly going to miss seeing them everyday! I told my boss I will fill in whenever she wants me to and I know I will be getting calls!! So I did not say goodbye I just said I will see you later!! I am going to miss walking into work every morning and hear all my "kids" call me  "Mama Nikki" as I became known!!  For some of the kids that are there day in and day out you really do feel like you are their parents. It is like I am a mother leaving her 60 children behind.  But it is time to move on with my life and finish my degree!! :)   

 

Master Cleanse day three has been tough! While I was at work it was fine I was not tempted to eat one bit and I just stuck to my drink.  When I got home, now that is a totally different story.  I think I just need to kick my little brother out of the house while I am doing this because he is the cause of all my temptation and boy does he love to rub it in that I can't eat.  But what are little brothers for right?  Well tonight he wanted to order pizza and eat a bunch of junk food while he and my Dad watched the Florida-Oklahoma game.  The smell of the pizza, the shrimp mom was making, and the bbq chicken wings in the oven was too much too handle, so I got my coat on and went to a friends house to get away from the temptation.  The whole time I was in the house I kept saying to my family I really want food, I want it really bad, but I stayed strong and ate nothing.  When I came home the smell was still lingering in the house and I still wanted food, but with a little help from my Mom I re-convinced myself that I can do this and made myself a drink.  This time I thought I would get a little creative and I made it with ice and put it in the blender.  YUM!!! I used a spoon and it was actually like I was eating!! LOL It made me feel so much better!!!   I know now that with my strength and the support of my family that I can do this!!! 

Sorry for the typos

Just wanted to say sorry for the typos in the last blog I was on my phone and did not read through it!

Day 2

Today was nonstop craziness for me as I am trying to find a new apartment for when school starts. Talk about stressful. I saw a few nice ones but mostly they were dumps. Two of them looked like a crack house although I don't know what that would look like but I am sure this apartment was close. I did look at one that I really really liked but it was a house and was rather expensive. I never really thought about a house before cause I know it comes with a lot of eraonsibility but I really like the idea now and the landlord was very nice. As we continued our day we ran into the landlord 3 times. Taylor and I thought that it was a sign that I needed to get the house but Dad being the one footing the bill he gets the last say and he was not with us.
As for the master cleanse today has gone great. Tons better than yesterday. I woke up not feeling hungry although I am hungry now but that could also be the smell of subway in the car once again thanks to that brother of mine. Why do I do anywhere with him he just temps me. Well his tempting is not working I have stayed strong and have not had anything to eat. I am feeling really good about this now and thinking that I can get through this. I know if I do I will have great results.

Day One

Today was day numero uno on my Master Cleanse.  Let me tell you I was dreading it.  This morning before taking my first drink of my lemonade mix I took a deep breathe not know what to expect.   To my surprise it was not that bad.  I thought to myself I can handle this.  Then I went to drink the second glass from a batch that I had mixed for the whole day.  This one not so good, the red pepper burned that back of my throat so bad, and I could see the pepper floating in there which did not help things at all.  I did my best to drink most of it but was not successful at drinking it all gone.  My third one I tried and it was even worse and being at work I was not able to mix a new batch so I decided to stick with regular water for the rest of the day.  Tomorrow I am going to cut down on the red pepper and gradually add more as the cleanse progresses.  I think today God was testing me to see if I could actually do this.... it was a day surrounded with some of my favorite foods.  To my surprise I stayed away from them did not take one bite! It was so hard to order a water while I watch my little brother snarf down a triple stacker from Burger King with the smell permeating through the car.  I held my ground did not eat ANYTHING!!  It was tough but I did it!!!   

I keep going into spurts of doubting myself.  I know I shouldn't do this.  I know that I am hard headed enough that if I want to do something badly enough I will do it.  So I have these spurts of doubt and get down on myself and then I tell myself this is nothing.  That this will benefit me and that it is only 10 days of my life.  If I can't do this for ten days then what can I do?   I mean is this really that hard?  Ok so it is but it is not like I am preforming brain surgery.  Tomorrow is going to be a better day for me.  I am going to get in all of my Master Cleanse drink that I am supposed to and I will be day two down!!! They say the first three days are the hardest after that it gets easier.  I am just going to do my best to plow through these first 3 days and half way through tomorrow I will be halfway there!!! 

First Blog EVER!!!

Ok so this is the first time I have ever blogged.  We will see how this goes and how well I keep up with it.  The reason I decided to start this blog was because I am starting to live my life differently.  Tomorrow at 8:30 AM (well actually by now it is today) I will be starting the Master Cleanse.  I am changing the way I am living and this is step number one!   I am very determined to do this, but after just getting done mixing up a batch of the drink..... I'm not too sure about it.  I am going to give it my best shot, and I know I should not doubt myself at all because if I do it will only make things worse, but looking at it I just couldn't help it.  I am starting strong though all out no turning back I can do this I know I can... this is the change I need in my life.  I want to live a long healthy life and right now the healthy part is not happening.  I wasn't doing too bad until the holidays came.  All the family and good food.... man it does bad things to your body.  LOL  SO now it is time for a change... a MAJOR CHANGE.  To me this is not just a diet, but it is a lifestyle change.  This Master Cleanse is going to be the starting off point and the rest will follow....